he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
