rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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