She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
