Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
