Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
