North Korea, Best Korea!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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