actually, I'm a sock model
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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