6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
