Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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