Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
