he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm jealous of your bromance
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
