Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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