O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize