bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
