What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
