Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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