you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
