i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish my penis had a tongue
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
