YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
