Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
