I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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