And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
