if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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