Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
