As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
