i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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