Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
