He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
