we're blogging at a bar
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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