why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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