Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
