she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
