she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
