shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
