He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
