That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I did not marry a roomba.
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