: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
