I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
