my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize