worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
