the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
