I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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