Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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