they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
