yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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