chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
