The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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