she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
