Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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