I am puke
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
